I cannot even

As the kids say, I can’t even with the news lately. Just Can’t Even. (You will find me capitalizing a lot in this post, for emphasis.)

So my lack of commenting on all the atrocious things that 47 and his awful awful associates are doing does not mean that I’m not paying attention or don’t care. It’s more that it makes me feel physically sick and totally powerless to affect any kind of change. Which, of course, is exactly what they want: they’ve implemented a Tsunami of Cruelty in an attempt to distract, defeat, and crush the spirits of anyone opposing them, hoping that we will simply give up against the overwhelming Tidal Wave Of Shit that’s drowning everything.

And you’d think this would be the time that progressives finally decided to come together as one, to create a massive unified force to work against the massive unified force of right wingers in charge. Like, we desperately need to create a Tidal Wave of Giving A Shit About Others in a unified way. Yet I don’t see that happening either, which doesn’t bode well. It’s like, if it’s not the perfect solution that makes everyone happy, progressives refuse to support it on principle. Can we not just agree to just pick something, ANYTHING, and stand behind it as a massive overwhelming group? Isn’t that better than the nothing that is currently happening?!?!

I’m horrified, disappointed, dismayed, furious, incredulous, rage-filled, stabby… I mean I could go on here with additional adjectives but I think you get my point.

So. I alone cannot stop that tidal wave. And I’m not great at speaking to people in person, convincing them of anything, persuasion, manipulation. Just not my strong suit. My brain locks up during confrontation. All logic, facts, and figures desert me when I get overwhelmed with emotion. So I have realized that doing things like phone banking, knocking on doors, or handing out leaflets is not going to be something I can effectively do. And that is okay.

But what I can do is: continue to resist, rebel, revolt. I can help in small ways that roll up into a larger resistance. I can refuse to give up in the face of A Bunch Of Total Bullshit (I’m quite good at endurance and persisting). I can hold on to my generous spirit and kind heart. I can hone my creative swearing. I can continue to engender healthy skepticism, empathy, kindness, and critical thinking skills in my teenage offspring.

Beyond that… I don’t know.

Illegal dumping?

Our neighbors stopped by last week after walking their dog (a tiny 6 pound Yorkie named Lemonade!) to ask if we had noticed that the water in the creek behind our houses had turned red. Doc and I went out to bridge to look and it was worse than I expected. God only knows what could have caused that. Surely someone dumped something upstream, and surely that something was toxic.

So we and the neighbors reported it to the city and the EPA, letting them know the spill was moving downstream towards White Rock Lake. By the next morning, the color had returned to normal but the smell was hideous. Doc said it smelled like a beach farted. Now, a few days later, the smell is gone and the city reported our case was “closed” but they didn’t say what they determined was the cause, if it was indeed toxic, or if any wildlife or vegetation had been negatively impacted.

Progress on packing up the house

As if packing up our belongings and dismantling all furniture from the entire 2nd floor of our house (which includes both bedrooms, all storage closets, and our enormous combined art/music/photo studio and office space), and slicing up the existing carpet to screw down squeaky floorboards to the beams wasn’t enough, SOMEONE (and I’m not saying who okay it was me) decided that we also must paint the walls in the studio room before the new carpet gets installed next week.

I mean, there will never be another time when all the furniture is pulled away from the walls. If I don’t do it now, it will literally never get done. And this room has never been painted in the 24 years we have lived here. It badly needs it.

So on the one hand, I am right. On the other hand — what the actual fuck, Katy? Is there not enough to do this week already?

River rafting a million years ago

In 1996, Kathryn and Ginger and I went river rafting in New Mexico. I love how we are all screaming and our guide is just sitting calmly in the back. It looks like he could be drinking a coffee or reading a book.

It is hard to believe that was almost 30 years ago. I wonder if I still have the physical stamina to go river rafting?

2 Comments

  1. When Nikole Hannah-Jones spoke at SMU in 2022, someone asked her how she doesn’t feel overwhelmed by all the injustices in the world. Her response was that none of us can fix everything, but if we each focus on one thing where we do want to make a difference, we can trust that others are fighting the good fight in the other areas.

  2. Thank you, Neil! That’s a wonderful way to look at it – do what you can and trust that others are doing the same. My cousin-in-law Carrie said, in reference to a comment I made about the small branches in the tree I recently painted, that she’s trying to focus on the small branches in her life.

    I very much respect Nikole Hannah-Jones and I wish I’d been able to hear her speak.

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