one way to skin a dreamcat

i had some strange and upsetting dreams last night. in one, i dreamed that i went downstairs and did the dishes. seems mundane, i know, but when you wake up and realize you did all that work in your dream and it wasn’t even real, and that the task still awaits you…

in another one — and this was truly horrible — i dreamed that i had to take off neko’s skin, while she was still alive. just the back half of her. i had to do it with an exacto knife. she didn’t seem to mind too much; i guess that it didn’t actually hurt. i had to slice all the way around her tummy and then pull her skin off like a pair of tight jeans. i could see her little internal organs and everything. it was horrible. i woke up sobbing.

and then in another one, i dreamed that my parents were getting married again. it was in some gigantic bizarre church. i was sitting outside in lawn chairs around a little table with some of the wedding party, but i think that they were actually from kathryn’s wedding, which was on the same day. i was supposed to try to go to both of them but kathryn was running two hours late so i couldn’t go to hers. anyway, i was thinking that it was a little weird that her wedding party included brad robertson, michael briones, and chris werner. she didn’t even know brad or michael, they were my friends from high school.

i went inside and was trying to straighten up in the room where the beer and wine was, and trying to fix some lettering that said “Beer” and “Wine” in wide red duct tape on a blue corrugated plastic sign. then i realized that the wedding had already started and that i’d better go inside. i knew i was procrastinating for some reason but couldn’t figure out why. when i went in, i sat in a folding chair with a TV tray in the back of the church, that had a sign in sheet and a plate of cookies. after a few minutes, i moved up to the front but wasn’t sure whether i should sit on the bride’s side or the groom’s side, since i came from both! eventually i sat down on the left in the front row. it all was very casual, there were people talking and getting up even as my parents were up at the front doing their vows.

a small, sad woman in burgundy came in and sat next to me. she had dark curly hair and glasses. i realized it was mom, but i couldn’t figure out why she was sad. this was some sort of break in the wedding where the guy up front was reciting some stuff, so mom and dad had come back to sit down. everyone was miked but the sound was really hollow and scratchy sounding. then a man dressed like a greenman got up and started reciting poetry or something while leaping around the church sprinkling water over everyone.

then we were all in the back, and it was kind of like my house. i was searching in cabinets for a particular candle, a light green patchouli candle in a plain straight votive holder. i kept opening up drawers and cabinets and shelves and they were just crammed full of all kinds of candles, candles in jars, square candles, ones still in wrappers, votives, large ones, small ones, fruity scented ones, ones in bright primary colors. hundreds or thousands of candles. i thought to myself that i had to get mom to stop buying me all these candles, that i had no use for a house full of wax, it was such a fire hazard. she kept searching for the green candle i wanted, and i said “stop. you just got married. this is supposed to be your honeymoon. let’s go have a glass of wine.” i think i meant “reception” but i said “honeymoon” instead. she was still so sad and i just hugged her and told her that i loved her.