A super easy way to keep up with your old pal Katy is to subscribe to my newsletter!
- Get that abortion you’ve always wanted.
- Drink a nice clean glass of water.
- Cash your social security check.
- See a doctor of your own choosing.
- Spend quality time with your draft-age child/grandchild.
- Visit Syria, or any foreign country for that matter.
- Get that gas mask you’ve been putting off buying.
- Hoard gasoline.
- Borrow books from library before they’re banned – Constitutional law books, Catcher in the Rye, Harry Potter, Tropic of Cancer, National Geographic.
- If you have an idea for an art piece involving a crucifix – do it now.
- Come out – then go back in – FAST!
- Jam in all the Alzheimer’s stem cell research you can.
- See Michael Moore’s movies and read his books, before they are banned.
- Stay out late before the curfews start.
- Suck up to your neighbors now, BEFORE they turn you in to Homeland Security.
- Go see Bruce Springsteen before he has his "accident."
- Go see Mount Rushmore before the Reagan addition.
- Use the phrase, "You can’t do that – this is America!"
- Have that last drink with your Muslim friends.
- If you’re white, marry a black person; if you’re black, marry a white person; if you’re gay, get married in Massachusetts; if you’re transgendered, move to Canada.
- Take a walk in Yosemite, without being hit by a snowmobile or a base-jumper.
- Join a religion other than one that involves snake-handling.
- Listen to Air America, Neil Rogers, Ed Shultz and Howard Stern before they are yanked off the air and sent to "the happy camp".
- Enroll your kid in an accelerated art or music class.
- Start your school day without a prayer.
- Pass on the secrets of evolution to future generations.
- Learn French (it’ll help you learn German later on).
- Download a copy of the Constitution on an encrypted CD-ROM and hide it.
- Play with a dreidel.
- Take a factory tour anywhere in the US.
- Take photographs of animals on the endangered species list.
- Take photographs of Democrats.
- Visit Florida before the polar ice caps melt.
- Visit Nevada before it becomes radioactive.
- Visit Alaska before "The Big Spill."
- Visit Massachusetts while it is still a State.
We’ll never ban Michael Moore. He’s such an effective Rovian agent, I don’t think we could do without him. I hope he keeps up the good work! 😉
Brett
VRWC Member #2569