Observations

i just feel fried. i really want to write a nice long clever witty post, because i’ve been reading lots of good writing lately. i think i don’t have it in me right now. i don’t know how people who work 2 jobs do it. i feel like such a baby for saying that too. i’m tired, and it’s all i can do to not run out and get takeout for every meal. i haven’t been to yoga class in weeks. i’m trying to go running a couple times a week, and i do go to swim class and walk at least 1 mile per day when i take the bus and train to work. but it’s a far cry from my 5x week exercise routine. right now it’s only 9:45 pm and i’m going to just go crawl into bed and watch tv. maybe i just need a night of nothing… tv and rest and turning off the brain. we’ll see.

i lied, my foot IS turning purple today. and it’s raining like crazy outside. i love it. i think i want a really small digital camera that’s easy to carry around with me, so i can take little pictures of things just for my weblog or other non-professional purposes. i love the f828 but it is gigantic and kind of an ordeal to carry around for casual type things. i wanted to take a picture of my purple toes and of the rain outside my window here at work, and have no way to do so.

two weeks ago, i stopped biting my fingernails. i didn’t really have a reason or motivation. my left thumbnail had gotten unusually long — past the edge of my fingertip. and something just clicked in my brain that said, well, that’s it. here’s where things change. here’s why quitting the biting habit hasn’t been a priority: i’ve been a biter ever since i can remember. it doesn’t embarrass me. my nails are really thin and brittle, and so they split and peel very easily. if you push on the end, they just bend like they’re made of paper. longer nails are harder to keep neat and can get in the way, especially if you do a lot of work with your hands. sitting around filing and polishing does not sound like a lot of fun, or even something that i would like to consider necessary maintenance. i’m finding that i’m having difficulty operating my new nails. once or twice i’ve accidentally clawed myself due to lack of control. they’re splitting and peeling as usual, but i’m trying to be gentle on them. i don’t know if i’ve quit for good or if it’s a temporary respite. currently my thumb and first two fingers of each hand are past the fingertip. the pinkies are nearing the edge, as is the ring finger right hand. ring finger left hand still has a ways to go. at any rate, it’s an interesting experiment.

ok not really. but some days i get antsy when i don’t get any email. NOBODY LOVES ME!