Nature

a poisonous lesson

I have learned the following very important life lesson in the past week: If you see something that looks like this growing on your back fence, do not go out in your jogging bra and shorts, wearing only gardening gloves for protection, and spend 30 minutes ripping it down. Leaves of three, let them be. Here is what my stomach now looks like: And my right arm: And my left arm: I posted a few days ago that I thought a little ant or spider had chewed on me in the night, leaving a series of little bites on my arms. WRONG! Little did I know that the inocuous-looking vine growing on the back fence was poison ivy. It took me several days to make the connection because it didn’t show up until about 48 hours after I’d touched the plant, and also I’ve never had poison ivy before. Hi! Love you, poison ivy! New areas of INSANE itchiness have been gradually spreading across my body, probably because I’d gotten the urushiol oil on my clothing, and did laundry a few days later — picking up the poisonous clothes once again and spreading it to new areas. I have learned that Benadryl doesn’t do jack shit for the itching, but it sure will put me to sleep, so maybe it kind of accomplishes the same goal in a different way. Topical hydrocortisone also does not do jack shit. Calamine lotion does seem to work a little but turns me a sickly pink color, like I’ve been bathing in Pepto Bismol. It’s so hard not to scratch. I’m pretty much in a state of low-grade itchiness all the time that I just try to ignore by thinking of other things. Once I start it’s basically impossible to stop. Warm showers make […]

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i got a floater!

Holy shit. I almost just drank a gecko. How did that little dude get into my glass of water?? He must have been on the inside of the window and just happened to fall right in, kersplash, at exactly the right spot to land in my water glass on the windowsill. He was floating there on the surface tension (he’s pretty tiny, maybe a toddler gecko) and luckily I happened to look into the glass just before taking a swallow and there I was, eyeball to eyeball with him. SHRIEK! Don’t get me wrong. I love geckos. They eat things that I like a whole lot less. Plus they’re cute, and when they crawl up the outsides of the windows they keep the cats occupied for long stretches of time. I just don’t want to ingest one: bad for me, worse for the gecko. I’m pretty sure that I usually just drink without bothering to look inside my glass first. I take the purity of my liquids for granted. I’m also pretty sure that I’m going to change my modus operandi on this whole issue now that I know there’s a possibility of live baby reptiles taking a swim in my drinks.

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A frog in my throat?

Living on a creek comes with some benefits (lots of big leafy trees, no neighbors in the back) and some downsides (mosquitoes, critters, flood potential). One of those elements is frogs. Normally I like frogs. They’re cute, they eat icky bugs, they stay out of my way. But tonight, for the love of god, they are MATING and they won’t SHUT THE FUCK UP. The drone is driving me CRAZY. If they were all croaking at different times I think it would sound like white noise and that would be OK. But they’ve got a whole freakin’ orchestrated chorus going on down there and are singing in UNISON. I don’t know why it’s getting on my nerves so much tonight! I usually like the sounds of nature. Tonight Yvonne and I did our first run together. It was a really short one, and we used the nice springy track, but it was over 90 degrees outside and the humidity was probably in the 80% range or better, and the air was really hazy and I just had the hardest time. I ran 1-1/2 miles and then had to slow to a walk for 4 more laps (which Brittney was kind enough to join us for). My airways were trying to close up on me, and I don’t have asthma or allergies. I think that maybe it was happening because I was trying to hold a conversation while running, and maybe also because of all the crap in the air and how hot it was outside. I had good energy and muscle strength and cardio endurance tonight, but I was afraid I was going to have an asthma attack if I didn’t slow down. Maybe I need to add “open airways” to my Holy Grail. I also wonder if my breathing […]

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Growin’ ‘maters

I kill plants. With very few exceptions, plants that come under my care are doomed to suffer a slow death of thirst and neglect. I love plants and would like nothing more than to live in a house surrounded by tall trees and grass and ferns and flowers and fruits and vegetables and bushes and shrubs and hedges and gardens, but it would seriously have to come with a gardener. I really do mean well, but I just suck at caring for them properly. Whenever I acquire new plants, I’m terribly excited about them for about two weeks, and then one day I forget to water them, and suddenly it’s 3 weeks later and I remember that I have plants to take care of — make that HAD plants to take care of — and I panic and run outside and find their dried brown husks frozen in a sun-crisped rigormortis, their slow suffering and piteous cries for water and TLC stamped into their little shriveled stalks and leaves. Thank god for automatic sprinkler systems, otherwise my lawn would probably be a wasteland too. One thing I am proud of: I try to do everything organically, without nasty synthetic chemicals that can hurt me, the vegetation, animals, the air, and groundwater. I do read up a lot on organic fertilizers and pest control, and I have all the necessary ingredients for the garlic-pepper tea and the Garrett Juice fertilizer and the liquid seaweed-insecticidal soap bug killer. I use the bug killer when I see bugs and I attempt to remember (but usually forget) to fertilize monthly. Also, I have a compost pile (ok, it’s really just a heap by the side of the house where I throw scraps and leaves and junk… but it does seem to be working!) I […]

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The spooky tree

Out walking on Saturday, Doc and I discovered a tree we’d never seen before. It’s right on the other side of the creek from us. I’m pretty sure it’s a mesquite tree, although it’s the biggest one I’ve ever seen. The trunk is probably 3 feet in diameter, and it’s incredibly gnarled and twisted. There are big thorns on the lower branches, but none that we could see on the upper ones. The bark is twisted too, and in some parts looks like it was shredded and then glued back haphazardly on to the branches. It’s spooky. It’s beautiful. I went back after dark and took some pictures.

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she’s got eyestalks! she knows how to use them! or maybe not

check out this crazy thing!! the zz top of lobsters… it’s so crazy, in fact, that they created not only a new species, but a new genus and family as well (remember the taxonomy? King Phillip Came Out From Going Swimming… Kingdom Phylum Class Order Family Genus Species) it’s also blind, although it appears to have eyestalks… or maybe those are feelers. i also like how the family name kiwaida comes from kiwa, the goddess of crustaceans in polynesian mythology.

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nature at work

From the Associated Press today: Python vs. alligator in swamp MIAMI, Florida (AP) — The alligator has some foreign competition at the top of the Everglades food chain, and the results of the struggle are horror-movie messy. A 13-foot Burmese python recently burst after it apparently tried to swallow a live, six-foot alligator whole, authorities said. mom always said to chew my food thoroughly; guess this is why.

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tasmanian tigers

thylacines, or tasmanian tigers, are creatures that would haunt your nightmares, if only they weren’t probably extinct. imagine an creature that is rather dog-like with hints of cat, about 5 feet in length, with a very long thick stiff tail that it uses in the same way a kangaroo does, a tiger-striped back end, and rows of razor sharp teeth in a long snout with jaws that can open 120 degrees. oh, and it’s a MARSUPIAL. freaky, huh?? this photo is not retouched. i just watched a little quicktime movie that was taken in 1933 at the hobart zoo in tasmania, and now i’m feeling all uneasy. i think it’s the jaw action that freaks me out most of all.

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