Health

Thank you to everyone

Dear everyone, Doc and I want to send a big public THANK YOU to you: all our friends and family that have sent us well wishes over the past week while we’ve dealt with the miscarriage, hospital, surgery, and recovery. Thanks so much to everyone that’s called or written with kind words, sent flowers, brought over food, kept us company, listened to us talk and cry about things, helped distract us with talk about other, “normal” things. You’re really helping to get us through this. I don’t want to be “that guy”… you know, the guy that’s always complaining about something, but it honestly feels like it’s been a tough week… well, a tough six months really. And I’m trying to look on the positive side of things and not complain too much. My life sure could be a lot worse… a LOT worse. I know that. I have soooo much to be grateful for—and I am. Much as I try to be superhuman, though, I don’t think I’m very good at it… and knowing that I have an amazing group of friends and a loving family that will pick me up when I fall… well, you guys are my safety net, and I can’t even tell you how comforting it is to know that I HAVE a safety net. I hope I can be a good enough friend to return the favor if ever you should need me. We love you. Thank you.

Read MoreThank you to everyone

It doesn’t feel like bravery.

A few people have told me that they were surprised that I was able to write in such detail about my miscarriage, only a few hours after it happened. Yvonne said I was brave. I’m not sure that’s what it is though. I kind of surprised myself by writing about it so soon. But I was already starting to forget details, and I really wanted to remember the details. And, I guess, by posting them here, I wanted other people to be able to know what it was really like to go through a miscarriage at almost 12 weeks. And honestly, writing about it was cathartic. I cried a lot while typing, but I felt a little better afterwards. I don’t want to hide what happened. Before this, I thought that a miscarriage was something that usually happened at home, and was not a big deal physically and was over quickly. And maybe if you’re not as far along as I was, that is closer to the truth. I was just so shocked at how physically traumatic it was. I thought I was dying. I have never seen Doc look so frightened. I was bleeding so much and it didn’t seem like it was going to stop. I just wish I’d known ahead of time that miscarriages at this point in a pregnancy are very very scary and painful and you generally end up in the hospital. Even now, Googling “what does a miscarriage feel like” gets you very vague results. Why does nobody talk about this? I hope that nobody was upset by the detail that I went into. I know it seems very personal — and it is. It’s extremely personal, but it’s not something I’m ashamed of. I really truly hope that if anyone reads my account […]

Read MoreIt doesn’t feel like bravery.

80 year old knees

I’m in some serious knee pain today! Last night I went with Kathryn to her “boot camp” after work. You’ve heard of nonmilitary exercise boot-camp-style classes for regular people who just want a motivating workout? That’s what this was. It’s not the kind of boot camp where the instructors scream “get moving, maggot!” to motivate you (although I think those do exist)… the instructor was very motivating but she achieved it by hollering “Nice job! You can do it! Just 15 more seconds! Come on! Keep moving! Way to go!” They offer a free class to newcomers, so I thought I’d go and see what it was all about, and why Kathryn gets up at 4 a.m. to be at the morning class by 5:30 a.m. three times a week. We moved constantly for about an hour, in “stations” drills (zigzag running between cones, tricep dips on a bench,  hurdles, running a ball back and forth, running through tires on the ground, squats with a medicine ball, and crunches), and then alternating between lifting weights, running “suicides,” more crunches, running around a coned-off box in various ways (knees up, heels up, run sideways, skip, run backwards), and doing plank pose on our mats. I was sweating like crazy, panting, and occasionally saw little black spots in my vision.  I thought I was in better shape than I apparently am! Today I’m mildly sore all over, but my knees really don’t work right. If I sit still for more than 10 minutes or so they stiffen up and are so sore I’m afraid they’ll buckle underneath my weight. I guess it was all the squats and “suicides” (running back and forth between cones and touching the ground at either end).  I’m walking like I’m 80 years old today. The one thing […]

Read More80 year old knees

I hate my back.

I feel just plain miserable. It’s been going on for 36 hours straight. I have for years had problems with my sciatic nerve in the left side of my lower back and hip, and it occasionally goes haywire, but this time it’s worse than I can ever remember. My entire lower back and left leg from hip to knee is sending out waves of mouth-watering pain every few seconds. It won’t stop. Sitting is excruciating, and lying down’s not much better. Standing is slightly less painful, and floating in the bathtub is also slightly less painful. I took 2 different kinds of prescription pain pills today, which didn’t do jack shit for the pain but left me woozy, sleepy, and with a killer headache. I went to work this morning and toughed it out to get some critical stuff done, then went to yoga class (I thought stretching would help; it didn’t), and came home afterwards. If stretching doesn’t help, and medicine doesn’t help, I don’t know quite what to do. I’m really frustrated and catch myself making little moaning noises every now and then. I slept for a little while this afternoon but didn’t feel any better when I woke up. I guess I just have to tough it out and hope that I’ll feel better in the morning.

Read MoreI hate my back.

Doc’s not had a good week

His post from yesterday… Nice Birthday so far… The pain is out of control today… I started waking up around 5 am for short periods as the waves of pain reached a level I couldn’t sleep through (1-2) I would then pass out and go back to the nightmares I was having. During one of these short periods of being awake I made note that the pain seemed to be switching sides although I don’t know if I was cognitive enough to judge if it was a “wrong side cluster” or migraine-like in nature. When I got up I had a throbbing pain in the cluster area that was well into the 1-2 level. I tried to relax and ride it out but around 9:15 it started to ramp up and became a full on attack that had rapid waves of 6-7 and a baseline of about a 5. This is a bit unusual, most of my clusters don’t seem to “throb” as bad as this one did. So here is the real sucky part… when it “broke” it never fully went away, it only dropped to around a 2 with waves approaching 3 for like the last 2 hours. I am hoping for some relief soon… 4:45pmThe level 1-2 cluster pain has been pretty much constant since the last time I posted. Now on top of that I feel like I have a pretty intense “migraine” layered with it, it I feel it mostly on the cluster side but its more spread out and often throbs on the other side as well. Light sensitivity, feeling queasy, wanting to lie down and rest…all the things associated with migraines… along with the pin point cluster pain that makes you want to move and such. its very tiring. 2:05amThe pain continued the […]

Read MoreDoc’s not had a good week

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