Music

“The 10 Most Terrifyingly Inspirational ’80s Songs” is, without a doubt, one of the most hilarious things I’ve read in a long time!! Robert Brockway describes Kenny Loggins’ “Highway To The Danger Zone:” “Danger Zone” is comprised of entirely guitar riffs and vague references to machines and speed. He did not settle for a lesser concept. He put you on a highway: the fastest, straightest route possible directly to an entire zone that is nothing but danger. There was no “Parkway to the Naughty Territories,” or “Off Ramp to Risky Town,” or even “Scenic Route Through Fistfight County.” And, of Foreigner’s “Jukebox Hero”… If hearing “just one guitar” while standing outside a venue in the pouring rain can cause an innocent farm boy to mutate into a vulgar, screeching, musical demi-god, imagine hearing 17 guitars on top of a mountain in a thunderstorm! You could instantaneously transform altar boys all across the heartland into 80-foot tall rock ogres, shredding on nuclear guitars and ejaculating fiery magma into the horrified faces of America’s enemies. Serve your country, Foreigner. Give a little back for once. You may be in imminent danger of Bon Jovi poisoning: One minute he’s lamenting “Sometimes you tell the day/By the bottle that you drink/And times when you’re all alone all you do is think.” Then almost immediately extolling that he’s rocked all those aforementioned faces. Incidentally, if you have had your face rocked at any point by Bon Jovi, please seek prompt medical attention. Read more here! It’s long but completely worth it, AND it includes links to music videos!

Doc’s recent post about the greatest albums ever recorded has got me thinking. He and I are in agreement on…

Crazy cover songs I’m listening to tonight: Van Morrison and Roger Waters singing “Comfortably Numb” live. Eh. I’m not wild about this cover; it sounded exactly like the original album version of “Comfortably Numb” (nice) but with Van Morrison’s voice (just weird). Echoing Green covering Figures on a Beach’s “Accidentally 4th Street (Gloria).” Awful cover. I adore the original but this just sounded like something you’d hear at 11 p.m. in a gay dance club and then immediately forget. Quick story about Figures on a Beach: In college in the early 1990s, I was a vice president of the Campus Activities Board and the powers that be sent me to a national convention where bands and other acts performed in showcases, trying to get colleges to bring them to campus. On the trade show floor, where all the acts’ managers had booths, I was perusing a list of the talent that one company represented, and when I saw Figures on a Beach listed, I asked the manager about them, as I was rather a fan. He was quite shocked and said,”Really? You like them? They’re friends of mine and I kind of just put them on there for kicks!” Too bad they cost double the budget for our entire year. Boy Least Likely To singing George Michael’s “Faith.” Freaking weird! I don’t like the original version, and I almost skipped right past this cover, but the hypnotic combination of the smooth-voiced male and female singers harmonizing throughout, and an instrumental chorus of slide whistles, a xylophone, and one of those little wooden clacker things that makes a zzzzZZZZPPP! noise, sucked me in. “Mad World” by Gary Jules, originally Tears for Fears. AMAZING. I like it even better than the original. It’s just Mr. Jules and a muted piano. I think […]

I have just three words.Stewart.Fucking.Copeland. Forget Sting. Stewart was truly the star of the show. My god, can the man…