“The 10 Most Terrifyingly Inspirational ’80s Songs” is, without a doubt, one of the most hilarious things I’ve read in a long time!! Robert Brockway describes Kenny Loggins’ “Highway To The Danger Zone:” “Danger Zone” is comprised of entirely guitar riffs and vague references to machines and speed. He did not settle for a lesser concept. He put you on a highway: the fastest, straightest route possible directly to an entire zone that is nothing but danger. There was no “Parkway to the Naughty Territories,” or “Off Ramp to Risky Town,” or even “Scenic Route Through Fistfight County.” And, of Foreigner’s “Jukebox Hero”… If hearing “just one guitar” while standing outside a venue in the pouring rain can cause an innocent farm boy to mutate into a vulgar, screeching, musical demi-god, imagine hearing 17 guitars on top of a mountain in a thunderstorm! You could instantaneously transform altar boys all across the heartland into 80-foot tall rock ogres, shredding on nuclear guitars and ejaculating fiery magma into the horrified faces of America’s enemies. Serve your country, Foreigner. Give a little back for once. You may be in imminent danger of Bon Jovi poisoning: One minute he’s lamenting “Sometimes you tell the day/By the bottle that you drink/And times when you’re all alone all you do is think.” Then almost immediately extolling that he’s rocked all those aforementioned faces. Incidentally, if you have had your face rocked at any point by Bon Jovi, please seek prompt medical attention. Read more here! It’s long but completely worth it, AND it includes links to music videos!