How do I love you? In many big and squishy ways. 

How do I love you? Let me count the ways. 

I have felt rather emotionally numb for a long time — thank you, interesting/terrifying/horrifyingly surreal time in history. But recently, something has changed. If you’ve read any of my recent poetry that is probably pretty obvious. (Don’t worry, this is not a poem (yet), hahaha!)

I am throwing the word ‘love’ around pretty liberally these days. Obviously, I mean it in a romantic way (love as in ‘in-love’) when am referring to my sweetest one and only.

But lately, I have felt like telling everyone I know that I love them, too. Life is short, hard lessons get learned, people die or just fade away, and what kind of friend would I be if I did not tell you how much I appreciate you before it is too late?

My feelings are so huge and squishy right now that I am barely able to contain them, and I do not know if I am doing a good job handling them. HUGE AND SQUISHY. My desire for real human connection and no-BS conversation feels like a river overflowing its banks. 

Everyone’s hurting, a lot of us for similar sets of reasons. We can all use some extra love right now, right? If I tell you that I love you, maybe you will feel a tiny bit better, for just a little while?

Maybe it’s slow and subtle, like when you’ve been cold for a long time, and a fire begins to soak some warmth into your bones. Or more immediate, like I’m enveloping you in a giant wraparound hug, and you can close your eyes, bury your face into my shoulder for a minute, and just breathe and exist. Sorry about my hair, it’s probably tickling your nose. 

It’s hitting me that life is pretty short and at this stage in my life, I’m kind of all out of f***s to give about most everything. So if I love you, I’m going to tell you that, and I’ll just have to hope that I’m not making it too weird.

Love you. xoxo, Katy