casualty! casualty! casualty!

I have discovered a new computer game that I’m really digging: Dungeon Siege . Yes, yes, it IS made by Microsoft, I know, and normally I shudder away from that crap on principle. But this one was released by MacSoft, whom Microsoft snapped up monopoly-style last year or the year before, and whom they promised not to fuck with. (We’ll see if they hold to their word) (hahahahahahaha)

Anyway, in an unusual deviation from my two preferred computer game styles (puzzle-solving types and blocks-dropping-in-patterns types), this one is more of a role-playing game. It’s very much like Diablo, which I played last fall. I played that obsessively to the point where objects in my dreams had little text labels floating in the air above them.

Actually, this game is pretty much D&D. You have one or more characters, you go on quests, you hack and slash monsters, you pick up loot. Doc came up with a great theory. Well, it’s not so much a theory as a breakdown of this game (and those like it) to two basic core elements. These games, Doc brilliantly says, satisfy two basic human urges: shopping and violence. Kill a monster, get rewarded with experience points. Gold drops out of the monster’s ass (where else is he carrying it, praytell??), and you pick it up, go to the village, buy some armor or potions.

Sometimes, for brief moments, I miss playing D&D. But then I remember that I’m not 18 anymore. Believe me, I’m not making fun of geeks — I consider myself to be a complete nerd in most respects. And I do have friends who are currently D&D’ers, which is great. I just can’t see ME doing it anymore. I have too many other damn interests that take up my time.

And besides, I might run off with some other young people to go live in caves and steal food and money and maybe even KILL myself!! 🙂 (This was a rumor amongst adults when I was a kid about the “dangers” of letting your kids play D&D. I remember having to have a serious conversation with my mother about how I was fully aware that it was Only A Game).