i DON’T have lip fungus!!

There’s this new commercial for a cell phone — Kyocera I think (which took an embarrasingly long time for me to figure out how to pronounce… I’d heard commercials for a phone called “Kia-Sarah” but it never quite connected in my brain that the two were the same thing) — anyway, this snooty girl in a nightclub is showing off her snazzy new cell phone and its voice dictation feature, and she tells it “Text to Mike: I had fun last night” and the phone repeats back to her “I have lip fungus.” It keeps telling her she has lip fungus, over and over, as she gets more and more upset. You’re supposed to deduce that the phone is not as cool as it seems, and that the Kyocera is a better choice. But the thing that sticks with me is the girl shouting “I DON’T have LIP fungus!!” and the club suddenly goes silent. Har!

By the way, googling the term “lip fungus” gets you all sorts of interesting results:

• “The Rock is to acting what lip fungus is to kissing.” (can’t argue with that)
  

• “This particular specimen of lip fungus had been growing untrimmed for 16 months.” (question: wouldn’t you notice after, say, a week? And maybe have someone, say, trim it?)
  

• “You might want to take a raincheck on that one Clark; he got a lip fungus they ain’t identified yet.” (how many lip fungi HAVE they identified?)

Awww…. rats. Googlism does not have any results for “lip fungus.” But “fungus” by itself gets you:

• fungus is a moldy plan
  

• fungus is risky
  

• fungus is among us
  

• fungus is extremely purrrroud to have received his first award
  

• fungus is not going to appear on the label anywhere