Feeling depressed

I’ve been writing a lot about “normal life” stuff lately, but I’m constantly angry and terrified about everything that 🍊🤡🧩💩 and his mafia are pulling, especially in Los Angeles right now.

Between him trampling over California’s sovereignty, sending in the military to be used against Americans on American soil at protests that were by and large peaceful, to the tanks rolling through D.C., to the masked ICE agents that continue nationwide to kidnap people off the street without warrants and disappear them, he is claiming violence where there is none and manufacturing nonexistent crises to appear powerful — and he appears to be setting the stage to declare martial law.

My stomach constantly hurts from anxiety.

I don’t know what I, as one little individual person, can do to make that NOT happen. Everything I try feels so small.

But here are some things that I am doing, nonetheless:

• Going to a No Kings protest on Saturday and will have my camera at the ready
• Continuing to donate monthly to the ACLU
• Refusing to let anger and fear rule my life and rob me of joy. Thus my posting about everyday stuff, because that stuff is still important.

I’ll continue to stand up, to protest, to speak out, to call my elected representatives, and to do whatever small things I can, no matter how ineffective it feels at the time. There are enough of us Americans that feel the way I do that it has to make a difference eventually. It has to, right? It is going to take a lot longer than it should, and he’s going to hurt a lot of people during the process. He already has, in awful ways.

But he’s not immortal. When he goes, his cult of personality will go with him. I wake up every morning and look at my phone, hoping today is that day.