I didn’t even know what a rotator cuff was until today.

I went to the doctor today about the pain in my right shoulder, and she thinks that I may have torn my rotator cuff. A few weeks ago doing yoga, I felt something “pop” in a not-so-good kind of way, and I thought it was just a pulled muscle, but it hasn’t gotten any better.

It only hurts to do certain things and it’s not clear-cut, like “I can’t lift anything” or “It hurts every time I push down on something.” The pain is more elusive than that, and I am worried that people are going to think that I’m faking it because it’s hard to explain how and when it hurts. The top of the shoulder near the little bump at the end of the collarbone is very tender, and it always hurts when I swing my arm back. Raising the arm over my head is OK until I get right near the top, then it hurts a little. But sometimes it surprises me when it unexpectedly hurts. Like the other day I was walking with Doc and holding his hand, and I wasn’t swinging the arm or anything and he wasn’t tugging at me, but it still hurt to do that. I guess it was just moving a little in just the right way to cause pain.

Anyway, I am supposed to take anti-inflammatories for 2 weeks and do range-of-motion exercises like arm circles and over-the-head motions. Then 2 weeks of light weight lifting. After that, if it’s not healing, then I have to see a specialist. Apparently I’ve been doing everything right in the meantime, though: putting heat on it and using it so as not to lose strength or muscle, but not so much that it hurts.

Ack.