April 2007

Terrible dream

I had a terrible dream last night. I woke up this morning crying and shaking. If you are sensitive to stories about animals getting injured, please don’t read this. I know I’m going to have a hard time typing it out. I was in a hospital, foll0wing around the “Dr. Cox” character played by John C. McGinley on “Scrubs.” I carried five fresh artichokes with me, and a paring knife. I would occasionally stop and cut off the bottom or top of an artichoke to reveal the insides. In my dream, artichoke middles contained little metal rods with beautiful sparkling glitter and glass beads on top. I followed Dr. Cox into a patient’s room, and he said that the patient had total amnesia and had no idea who he was. We had to help him remember. I thought I recognized him and said “Brandon?” But it wasn’t who I thought it was. My cat Neko was in the room, lounging on the bottom floor of her cat tower. A nurse opened the door to the patient’s room and the “Sun” and “Jin” characters from “LOST” walked in carrying baseball bats. The only way to help the patient remember who he was, was for them to hit Neko with the baseball bats. I was terribly upset about this but knew that it was the only way, and it was very important so we had to do it. They took turns smashing her with the bats. I could hear her little leg bones breaking; they made sounds like shattering glass. She wasn’t protesting; she just lay there passively letting them do their work. I knew that if they hit her in the head they would kill her so I tried to turn her around so her rear legs were facing them instead […]

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3-month followup

I really haven’t felt much like writing lately, and I feel bad about that. Not because I’m suffering any delusions that I’m letting down the two of you that visit my blog on occasion; it’s more that I feel ashamed for not making myself suffer, powering through my creative block until something forces its way to the top. Art should hurt, shouldn’t it? If it wasn’t excruciating to produce, it doesn’t really count, right? Ugh. Work is kicking my butt, and my always-laid-back boss has said that the theme for April is going to be “what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.” I’m sensing much overtime in my immediate future. Brittney has inspired me to try and find silver linings in lemons (pardon my mixed metaphor, har-d-har), so I will say that being busy is much better than being bored, and that May is looking like it won’t be nearly as bad. Plus, my boss has hard-coded a happy hour into our schedule for the end of April, so there is that to look forward to. Today (squeamish warning: stop reading here) I had another sonogram, so my doctor could inspect my inner girly bits. It turns out that my right ovary is totally cyst-free, and my left one only has two small cysts, which are both well within the range of normal. Also, since I began hormonal birth control in January, my periods have been half as long and half as heavy (thank god!) and right on schedule. I wasn’t wild about taking The Pill, but I am feeling soooo much better (physically and mentally) that I guess it was probably the right thing to do.

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