i’m not arrogant, i’m just an introvert

thanks to brett for the link to this fantastic article, “caring for your introvert: the habits and needs of a little-understood group.”

…introverts are people who find other people tiring.

Extroverts are energized by people, and wilt or fade when alone. They often seem bored by themselves, in both senses of the expression. Leave an extrovert alone for two minutes and he will reach for his cell phone. In contrast, after an hour or two of being socially “on,” we introverts need to turn off and recharge. My own formula is roughly two hours alone for every hour of socializing. This isn’t antisocial. It isn’t a sign of depression. It does not call for medication. For introverts, to be alone with our thoughts is as restorative as sleeping, as nourishing as eating. Our motto: “I’m okay, you’re okay—in small doses.”

in the article and a subsequent interview, he talks about how to go about life as an introvert in a world where the majority of people are extroverts.

he also talks about the difference between being shy and being introverted, which i have to admit hadn’t occurred to me before. being shy means that social situations make you anxious, nervous, and/or awkward, whereas introverts generally don’t necessarily get anxious in social situations, but do get tired out rather quickly.

i think i’m both.

when we have parties at our house, at least 2 or 3 times during the party i come upstairs to “check on the cats”… which i am really doing, but it’s also my way of getting away from everybody for 5 or 10 minutes so i can recover and go back down and face it again. i don’t mean “face it” like it’s an ordeal or whatever, but i do get mentally exhausted a lot faster than an extroverted person would.

Are introverts arrogant? Hardly. I suppose this common misconception has to do with …. our lack of small talk, a lack that extroverts often mistake for disdain. We tend to think before talking, whereas extroverts tend to think by talking, which is why their meetings never last less than six hours. “Introverts,” writes a perceptive fellow named Thomas P. Crouser, in an online review of a recent book called Why Should Extroverts Make All the Money? …. “are driven to distraction by the semi-internal dialogue extroverts tend to conduct. Introverts don’t outwardly complain, instead roll their eyes and silently curse the darkness.”