bacon weevils

so the conversation went something like this:

me: i love food.
doc: me too. it needs to be tasty, and in my belly.
me: yeah!
doc: and i say a little thank you to all the tasty animals before i eat them. “thank you, mr. pork chop, for the delicious meal you are about to become.”
me: “thank you, bacon!” [thinking about how we don’t call our meat by the names of the animal that it comes from, usually] “mom, where do bacons come from? do bacons live on the farm?”
doc: haha! no, bacon comes from big bacon fields. they’re like big cornstalks, except instead of a cob it has two strips of bacon reaching up towards the big blue sky.
me: it grows crispy??
doc: well, when it starts out they’re kind of floppy and sagging towards the ground, but as the season progresses towards harvest, they crisp up and start to stand up straight. and then it’s time for the bacon harvest.
me: <drool> yes, but there is one thing that the farmers must take precautions about: bacon weevils! they have to send in crop dusters.
doc: they spray the fields with hickory smoke to prevent the bacon weevils. they’re not so much of a problem these days, but people have gotten used to the taste so they bacon-crop-dust now as much for the delicious hickory flavor as for the bacon weevils.
katy: [trying to think of something clever but failing]
doc: and all the juices and grease run down into the stalk. you can break off 6 inches of bacon stalk and walk around sucking on it.
katy: like a slim jim!