August 2005

two weeks ago, i stopped biting my fingernails. i didn’t really have a reason or motivation. my left thumbnail had gotten unusually long — past the edge of my fingertip. and something just clicked in my brain that said, well, that’s it. here’s where things change. here’s why quitting the biting habit hasn’t been a priority: i’ve been a biter ever since i can remember. it doesn’t embarrass me. my nails are really thin and brittle, and so they split and peel very easily. if you push on the end, they just bend like they’re made of paper. longer nails are harder to keep neat and can get in the way, especially if you do a lot of work with your hands. sitting around filing and polishing does not sound like a lot of fun, or even something that i would like to consider necessary maintenance. i’m finding that i’m having difficulty operating my new nails. once or twice i’ve accidentally clawed myself due to lack of control. they’re splitting and peeling as usual, but i’m trying to be gentle on them. i don’t know if i’ve quit for good or if it’s a temporary respite. currently my thumb and first two fingers of each hand are past the fingertip. the pinkies are nearing the edge, as is the ring finger right hand. ring finger left hand still has a ways to go. at any rate, it’s an interesting experiment.